Give space to your future self: a coaching exercise from a career and life coach in amsterdam

Coaching is, at it's heart, about movement. This often gets understood as setting goals and making strategies to get somewhere specific. As a life coach and career coach in Amsterdam who has coached over 600 people in the past 4-5 years, I find this understanding of coaching to be a bit problematic as it misses a lot of nuance and also can often just get us trapped in the next iteration of 'how our life should turn out'. If you want to find a more spacious approach to creating a life and career that is aligned to you, but will still keep you moving in the right direction, then read on!

In life and career coaching, we often find ourselves becoming deeply attached to specific futures or desired outcomes, which can lead to the opposite of what was likely intended: significant stress, repeating patterns of 'I must prove I am good enough / capable enough / successful enough' etc, and, arguably most importantly, hinder our ability to enjoy the present moment. This fixation on a predetermined path can create anxiety about whether we are achieving our goals, ultimately distracting us from the richness of our current experiences and appreciating what we like about ourselves and our lives right now.

One of the key benefits of life and career coaching is that it builds emotional flexibility, enabling individuals to navigate their journeys with a sense of openness and spaciousness - trusting that there are an absolute wealth of possible outcomes that would probably make you happy, and allowing yourself the space to navigate your path with more presence and enjoyment. By cultivating this adaptability, we can move in the right direction while allowing the future to unfold naturally, adjusting our aspirations as we grow and evolve in both life and career.

ENTER: 'WORKING IDENTITY' BY DR HERMINIA IBARRA

An exercise I love to share with my life and career coaching clients is one from Dr Herminia Ibarra - an academic anthropologist who's work I've followed since University. Her work is all about how our sense of self and identity is interconnected with our work. Her latest book, 'Working Identity', goes in to all things career change, career development, confidence in careers, work identity, leadership coaching, life work balance and more.

TRY OUT THE LIFE AND CAREER COACHING EXERCISE

One of the exercises she shares, that I'd love to share with you today, is also something I share with a lot of my life and career coaching clients. I use it especially when I notice that they are really stuck in an idea of how their life and career should be, and when they are struggling to see where it could go next.

So... if this is a bit of you, grab a pen and notepad and let's go...

COACHING EXERCISE: Write down 10 or more possible self scenarios for your future

By 'possible', I mean all the things that could possible happen. Including everything from:

• what you fear

• what you would be so unbelievably amazed by

• what you'd love to happen

• what you hope for yourself

• what you'd hate

• what people have told you you should do

• what you think you are expected to do / be

• what would feel in character

• what would feel out of character

• what would feel like pretending

• what would feel authentic

• and everything in between

It can take a little while to warm up, so give yourself time to sit with it and let it start to flow. You might even find that you think of extra things days after, so be sure to jot them down too.

YOUR FUTURE SELF DESERVES A BIT OF SPACE

When we put so much pressure on our future selves, it can end up that even if we do get there at some point, perhaps we get a bit of a feeling like: 'oh... so this is it?'. Can you let your future self have some space to respond to what is happening in the present too? To let your future self also have an unknown future that they also will want to find out? To let them not carry the weight of so much responsibility for 'fixing' everything that isn't ideal about your life right now?

COACHING THAT CREATES TRUST IN THE UNKNOWN AND CONFIDENCE IN YOUR INNER COMPASS

I believe that life and career coaching is indeed, supposed to guide you to find your own answers. And many brilliant coaches can support you in doing this - especially when you find someone who you have a good click with and can be honest with. But, the best coaching is that that goes a little layer deeper and instills a sense of sustainable self trust and self belief in you. The type of coaching that is also confidence coaching. The type of coaching that reminds you that the present is just as important as the future.

book a try out session with hannah - A career and life coach in amsterdam

If you like what you're picking up here and would like to explore working together, I offer discounted try out sessions where we can talk about your situation and discuss how I can support you. You can also get a feel of what it's like to be coached by me and ask any questions about how things work. You're welcome to reach out to me and book in.